For a long time, boudoir photography has been thought of as something for women only. I saw it in my own business at the beginning. One day, I started searching the web for male boudoir photography, and I found lots of celebrities and six pack abs. There were a few “dad bods” but no other real photographic representation for male boudoir. So unless you were famous or heavily muscled, the only other option was photography of men for comedic purposes.
To me, boudoir photography shows every BODY deserves to have beautiful, artful photos of themselves. Boudoir portraits that show their personality, style, and sensuality (if they choose). Basically, their je ne sais quoi (pronounced zhuhnuhse kwa), which means an indefinable, elusive quality, especially a pleasing one. I can’t fully describe in words everything that boudoir photography is or can be, so I’ll let my photography tell the story in the slideshow below.
My goal is to use boudoir photography to help each person of any gender to…
Feel more comfortable and confident in their body,
See themselves as extraordinary, beautiful, and worthy of love, AND
Have a unique, unforgettable experience with the photos to prove it!
A little backstory…
In the 2010s, I would get a few calls a year from men looking for male boudoir photography. But they were only looking for someone to take their photos as a joke. The main request was to do the “George Constanza.” Just look up “The Timeless Art of Seduction” which is in Season 8 Episode 5 “The Package” of the Seinfeld TV series. Basically, Kramer convinces George to create “enticing photos,” and they do a mock boudoir photo shoot. The final photo is printed large and is shown as an embarrassing joke.
Moving on to around 2016, when male boudoir photos or as some say “Dudoir” (dudeoir rhymes with boudoir) started to become more noticeable. But a large majority of these dudoir photos were done as a joke or simply to go viral on the web. There is nothing wrong with taking silly photos in boudoir photography, but I wanted to approach it differently.
A mutual friend referred my first official male boudoir client to me. From our first phone call, I told him that I had never done male boudoir photography before, but I was ready to try. I wanted my client to feel comfortable and confident at his photo shoot. Before the shoot. I did some research, spoke with photography peers, and made a plan ,which included a practice shoot with my husband. It went really well, and he even wanted to come back and do ANOTHER boudoir session. The rest is history. Yes, Boudoir Photography is for men too! Boudoir is for ALL gender identities.
For 2021, I choose three words that I want to guide my focus for this year…. INCLUSION, CREATION, & INNOVATION. I am working through updating the website, social media, and throughout the business to be more accessible, more inclusive, address any other concerns, and update the imagery too. There’s a lot going on behind the scenes, and I wanted to share some growth and history with you.
I was brought up in a family with a verbally and emotionally abusive mother. My father died when I was thirteen. They had brought me up in a cultish religion where only they (the religion) had the answers, and everyone else was wrong. Changing your views was considered sinful and wrong… even when new information from many verified sources disproved that view/value. Hating yourself and putting your needs/boundaries last was considered the highest good. Many lies were fed to me through this religion, and any negative things about the religion or respected leader were hidden. Guilt, shame, and fear were the motivations to do “the right thing” as they defined it… and most of the religion’s values were either racist, misogynistic, homophobic, ableist, etc… and a lot of times a deadly cocktail of some of or all them. Add to this my struggles with undiagnosed ADHD (until summer 2020) and never feeling like enough or feeling like too much.
Fast forward to high school where I started questioning a lot of the misogynistic practices in my high school. Then to college and after, getting married, and having kids. Throughout my life, I never thought of myself as hot, sexy, or even beautiful. I thought of myself as cute, silly, quirky, and very awkward. When I started photography in the family business through weddings, I kept seeing again and again how only women who looked a certain way were in the movies, tv, magazines, models, advertising, etc. And that the view of a women’s beauty and her worth was only if she met this impossible criteria. I photographed my first boudoir shoots in 2010 and connected the dots… that all women are beautiful and should feel that way.
So when the mellBella Photography brand started in January 2011, our mission was to “remind women they are more beautiful than they think they are. Specializing in women’s photography to honor these Bella Beauties and the men they love.” WOW! Thankfully, we’ve done A LOT of growing since then. That mission was problematic… exclusive in several ways. We had a very narrow view of boudoir photography and what it was back then. Coming into boudoir photography as wedding photographers, we narrowed our focus to only brides either getting married or as gifts for wives to get their husbands. BUT that excluded LGBTQIA+ persons… it excluded any other gender… it excluded people who weren’t married… it excluded people who didn’t have a partner… and it made it only about a gift for someone else. And on top of all that, we had very little diversity in our clients.
How did/do I change it? It came/comes through putting in the hard work personally and through the business…. education and communication. Being open to changes to learning… not being afraid of being wrong… apologizing and taking the steps to correct the problems…and changing the goal to not only became a better photographer but also a better human. To create a welcoming, safe place, and fabulous experience for our clients. And to always be learning, admit wrong doing, when you mess up–make up for it as best as you can, and to put love and kindness above all else. I have invested in education through The Boudoir University I’m over halfway through their foundational program called The 7 Pillar Program: The Course for Photographers Who Give A Damn. “The pillars are designed to confront blind spots, outdated belief systems, and biases that we all have when it comes to the human experience. In order for us to become more empathetic and thus, more empowering, we need to open ourselves up to understanding experiences from different intersections.” Boudoir Photography is truly so much more than “pretty pictures” or just a “photo or tw0.”
So, what is the mellBella Photography mission/goals now?!? I don’t have a formal mission statement right now that is wrapped up nicely in one sentence… but here’s what I value:
- EVERY BODY is beautiful. EVERY SINGLE BODY is freaking gorgeous simply because it exists.
- Boudoir Photography isn’t just for females… it’s for ALL genders.
- For my clients to see themselves with loving eyes instead of hypercritical ones.
- Celebrating YOUR version of beautiful, sexy, happy, strong, silly, sensual, etc.
- Confirmation, Detoxification, Communication, Exhilaration, Declaration, and Affirmation of YOU
- Creating a Safe Space of respect, trust, peace, vulnerability, emotions, and comfort combined with fun and laughter.
- An experience that puts back into someone…reminding them to value themselves… appreciate their bodies… AND yes, even CELEBRATE.
Here’s just a small sample of the portraits I’ve been doing. I dedicate to my unforgettable clients, my friends, and family who support me and my work:
What is Boudoir Photography to me? For starters, I’ll tell you what it’s not.
Boudoir Photography is NOT:
- just photos in underwear.
- for women only.
- lewd, obscene, vulgar, or gross.
- demeaning or shameful.
- perfection or what you think the perfect body should look like.
- only for people who are a very specific size, shape, age, gender, ethnicity, height, weight, ability, etc.
- just for the bedroom.
To me, Boudoir Photography is so much more than just a photoshoot. I photographed my first boudoir clients in 2010. As I’ve photographed hundreds of people over the years, my definition of boudoir photography has grown as I’ve grown as a photographer, artist, and person.
Boudoir Photography :
- is an experience for ALL HUMANS who want to encounter and embrace their version of BEAUTIFUL.
- is INCLUSIVE and RESPECTFUL.
- is feminine, masculine, and/or androgynous.
- is a GIFT for someone special… YOU ARE THE SOMEONE SPECIAL.
- is for YOUR BODY exactly as it is right now.
- is shame free and body positive.
- is an investment.
- is a way for you to SEE your SELF, your BEAUTY, your ARTFUL BODY through another person’s eyes.
- appreciates the human body in its many versions.
- can be a LIFE-CHANGING experience.
- can be clothed, in underwear/lingerie, implied nudity, or nude.
- can be glammed up and blinged out.
- can be cozy and subtle.
- can be silly and smiley.
- can be sultry, sensuous, or sexy.
- can be a gift for your partner, but it can be just for you.
- can reveal something you never considered before now.
- is fun!!!
Even though Rockabillaque 2020 was cancelled. The 2020 Miss Rockabillaque Pin-Up Contest happening as part of this year’s CODfather Christmas Celebration on Saturday, December 19th. The Pin-Up Contest will be a Holiday/Winter theme. Register to compete in the 2020 Pin-Up Contest here: https://www.rockabillaque.com/contests As usual, we are sponsoring the Pin-Up Contest, AND the winner will receive a FREE pinup photography session with us including hair/makeup styling and access to the mellBella Closet. ($400 value).
The event will also include live rockabilly music, over 20 vendors, a giant Christmas tree, falling snow, Santa, kids activities, a bonfire, and more!! The Pin-Up Contest will be at 3pm on the Outdoor Stage at the restaurant. Miss Rockabillaque 2019, Ashley Kramer will be crowning the 2020 winner!
AND finally, we’re making some fine adjustments and planning for 2021, and we want to hear from you… what you want to see, hear, experience AND as always sooooo much more! Be sure to keep checking the blog and our social media for what’s coming next. Have a Happy Holidays, stay healthy, wear your mask, and look out for each other!
We have chosen the organizations listed below as part of this event. Each organization has been working in the community for several years to do things like fighting racism, empowering women, helping those struggling with food insecurity and/living in a food desert, and so much more.
Please donate and show your support to:
Here’s how to enter:
- Donate $10 or more to one of the organizations listed above. For every $10 donated, you will receive 1 entry into the giveaway.
- Just email a screenshot of your donation to firstname.lastname@example.org to enter the contest. All donations must be made from 10/23/2020-12/12/2020 to be included in the contest.
- Additional ways to enter the contest will be announced on mellBella’s social media accounts between 10/23/2020-12/12/2020. Be sure to LIKE or FOLLOW us on: Facebook, Instagram, and/or Google Business.
- Additional prizes will be introduced on mellBella’s social media accounts listed above.
- Winners will be notified by 12/14/2020.
ALL prizes are from local small businesses. The more donations we raise, the more prizes will be released. Here’s just the start of the prizes available:
- FREE Boudoir Photography Session including professional hair/makeup styling from mellBella Photography ($400 value)
- $100 Gift Basket from Mamasita’s Cloth Diaper Service. Perfect for if you’re expecting or if you want to give as a gift for new mothers and fathers.
- 45 mins visit to the Salt Room at Under the Stars Massage Therapy. Unlike table salt, pure mineral salt is naturally moisturizing and brings many benefits to our lungs, skin, and bodily health.
Massage from Under the Stars Massage Therapy Their signature massage is designed to improve circulation, relieve muscle tension, and reduce stress.